Q. What did Adam say

on the first 24th December? A. "It's Christmas, Eve."

It's that time of year again! You'll find some previous selections of excruciating cracks out of crackers (or bon mots out of bon-bons) here, here and here. And now a few more for 2017:

Q. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
A. Because they were two deer.

Q. What goes "Oh, Oh, Oh"?
A. Santa walking backwards.

Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. Water.

Q. What's round and bad tempered?
A. A vicious circle.

Q. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A. A Holly Davidson.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any mince pies left?

Q. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive on time?
A. "One day my prints will come."

Q. What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?
A. Snowballs.

Our Christmas Eve run attracted far more hashers than expected on a really hot afternoon. We treated suggestions that we just walk across the road to the pub with the lack of respect they deserved and encouraged one another around a gentle couple of circuits before replenishing our precious bodily fluids at the park. And then - after this drink stop - we took on the hazardous journey across Main Street to the pub for pizzas and more refreshment.

For those who can make it next week we're offering a Cedar Creek stroll and a dip in the waterhole. So please bring togs if you don't want to skinnydip. You're then invited - if you can and would like to - to stay on and celebrate the New Year....

Next run details
When: Sunday 31st December, 5 pm (and please feel welcome to either stay till midnight and beyond or to go on to other celebrations)
Where: Andy Williams Park, Cedar Creek Road, Cedar Creek. A map!
Hares: Culture and Haughty

On, on!

Revels and recovery

The jolly old Christmas Season continues to bless us with good times together as we meet up with old friends and new (that sounds quite Dickensian, dunnit?) And we still have one run to go before Christmas Day!

Hash Christmas was a great opportunity to catch up with some we haven't seen for a while. Hot to Trot, Wizbanger, Slammit and Upfront came all the way from Canberra just to be with us. And Miss Fit and Gastrick brought along a young fella who has really turned into a Welsh rugby forward in the months since we last met up with him.

Fun and games were as usual followed by the consumption of gargantuan quantities of food and drink.

Many thanks to our hospitable hosts and games organisers Strine and Charcoal!

On the following day Mile High and Hugandkiss broke all records for turning up late by arriving for the Christmas party 24 hours after the event! They came on to our Rest and Recovery Run bearing a delicious trifle, which we might not have had room for the day before....

Knocking Shop visited us from Japan and was led astray by Culture - who got her lost despite a really well-laid trail. She'll have some stories of being bushed in the outback to take home to Tokyo with her.

They both enjoyed(?) a pink down, down:

And we celebrated a significant birthday with a naming ceremony as well. Happy birthday and welcome to your new name, Lax!

Masterchef and recovering revellers:

Many thanks to our hares, Banger and Make an Offer!

MEANWHILE, elsewhere in the world - Superhacker spotted this evidence of a Hash trail through the Hong Kong market area:

And Hopalong celebrated a truly Dickensian Christmas season by building a politically correct snowperson:

Next run details
When: Sunday 24th December, 5 pm
Where: John Scott Park, Samford Village
Hares: M. Promptu will set the run. We will adjourn to a neighbouring hostelry for Christmas Eve refreshment and a meal.

On, on!

Sea of blue - sea of red

Those who made it to Caloundra last Sunday enjoyed a really scenic run alongside the briny blue. Payback notes that:

* It was a windy day but the rain stayed away;
* A certain newly licensed driver made it from Brisbane all by herself. It was a relief for her parents when she arrived in one piece;
* The runners encountered some eye opening scenery on King's Beach (hmmm);
* Dinner was served in an enormous top floor apartment with a panoramic view of the ocean. There were lashings of savoury mince and crusty bread, followed by Tim Tams and fruit mince pies.

Some Caloundra cuddles:

A manspreading flasher:

Keep your hands out of shot, boys!

Sunset view:

On Monday a select group joined a sea of red in the city for the 2017 Red Dress Run. The early comers thought they looked pretty chic in their little red numbers, but they were totally blown out of the water when Mile High and Hugandkiss arrived:

Mile High's accoutrements included some cute little red wings:

Here's the Samford crew, with our stars of dress-up in the centre:

Tinkerbell, the hare, had set a complicated run/walk which visited all the top CBD landmarks. He took us up and down the mall and through some classy hotels, Post Office square, King George Square, the City Gardens, Riverside Centre, central station, and Roma Street Parklands (where the crowds gathered in the open-air cinema cheered the runners as we made our way through them.) The drink stop and singalong were beside the old windmill on Wickham Terrace:

In the circle back at the Cicada Bar, Mile High was acclaimed as the Best Dressed Male, trouncing some stiff competition among the hundreds present. Congratulations! What an honour!

It's our Hash Christmas Party on Saturday, and we are looking forward to catching up with members of our Canberra chapter: Wizbanger, Hot to Trot, Slammit and Upfront. Our recovery run on Sunday will be in Dayboro....

Next run details
When: Sunday 17th December, 5 pm
Where: Banger and Make an Offer's country mansion in Dayboro
Hares: Make an Offer and Banger

(If you need directions to this run, please email us.)

On, on!

Another riparian ramble

People do sometimes get lost on a hash run/walk. It's rather less common for people to get lost even before we start - but this Sunday it happened to two couples! Perhaps they need to check their prescriptions for reading glasses?

A cool, moist afternoon provided very pleasant conditions for a M. Promptu stroll along the South Pine River for the walkers and a rural circuit (including a couple of creek crossings) for the runners. Back at Undambi, Pot Luck laid on a varied meal with a bit of a leaning toward the dessert side of things.

It was good to welcome Epic back for his second run with Samford Hash - and this time he brought his wife for her first ever hash run. She showed some great skill in handling a welcoming down, down:

We have some big events coming up....it's all go at this time of year, innit?

Next Sunday Miss Demeanour, Shockjock and Co. will be hosting their annual Sunshine Coast run at Caloundra (as we have done in the past, we'll move the start time to 4 pm to give us plenty of time to trash their holiday unit afterwards.)

Then on Monday it's the Brisbane Red Dress Run - register by 6 pm for a 6:30 start at the Cicada Bar in the city (48 Adelaide Street - see the flyer below to confirm details.)

And then the following Saturday we'll be meeting at Charcoal and Strine's for our 2017 Hash Christmas party (review your emails to confirm what you'll be bringing.)

Next run details
When: Sunday 10th December, 4 pm - Note: a 4 pm start for this run only!
Where: Happy Valley car park, The Esplanade, Caloundra. A map!
Hares: Shockjock, Miss Demeanour and Co.

then...The Red Dress Run on Monday 11th December - 6:30 pm (register by 6)
Where: Cicada Bar and Restaurant, 48 Adelaide Street, near the City Hall, Brisbane
Hares: Radar and Co.

On, on!

Topless for 10 years!

Topless celebrated a 10-year anniversary as a member of Samford Hash this Sunday. Who knows how many runs she has attended over that period, or how many times she has acted as Hash photographer? It would be a staggering number!

In honour of the occasion she treated us to a seaside stroll, some authentic German cuisine (including a most notable cake) and champagne! Many, many thanks for a very pleasant afternoon! (The cake caption reads "10 yrs Topless")

Here are a few selected hashers lazing on a Sunday afternoon near the beach:

Young Zachary took part in his first Hash excursion this Sunday as well. Hardcore had plenty of voluntary help on her first Hash run since his birth.

And this time of year is always busy - so make sure that you have entered the following in your diary:
- Hash Christmas on Saturday 16th December
- Red Dress Run on Monday 11th December

Next run details
When: Sunday 3rd December, 5 pm
Where: Undambi Rotary Reserve, Mt. O'Reilly Road, Samford Valley. A map!
Hares: M. Promptu will set the run. Potluck will cater (please bring something to share)

On, on!

A business opportunity

Leave Pass has every qualification to set up in business as a rainmaker, should he want to. If you look back over the annals of Samford Hash, you'll see that an extraordinarily high proportion of the trails he sets have been washed out. The same was true this week, when only traces of the chalk and flour he had put down on Sunday morning remained. In fact it was still raining as we set out at 5 o'clock....

So - how much would drought-stricken farmers be prepared to pay for these talents? Give it a go, Leave Pass! Offer to set some runs out beyond the black stump!

We retired to chez Leave Pass for a really tasty dose of Thai cuisine, while the dogs gamboled and passed flatus (look it up) around us. Many thanks and congratulations, rain-man!

And good luck to the hashers taking part in (and helping with) the latest SPADEwerx production this weekend (Budgie, Miss Behavin', Shaggy, Cadbury, Superhacker, Hopalong, Haughty and Culture.) Break a leg, guys!

Next run details
When: Sunday 26th November, 5 pm
Where: Topless's seaside villa on the Redcliffe peninsula
Hare: Topless

(If you need directions to this run, please email us)

On, on!

Hashy birthday quartet

We celebrated no fewer than 4 birthdays this Sunday with a cake and - of course - a traditional down, down for the awesome foursome:

One of the quartet had just turned 18, so she joined her mum in a glass or two of something pink and alcoholic:

It seems a long time since her early years in Samford Hash!

Our hare Footsie (ably assisted by Payback) took us on a circuit along the Pine River and through the surrounding burbs - and dished up a tasty curry to follow. Many thanks!

Here are some members of the anarchic group as we came home in dribs and drabs:

Mile High presented Superhacker and Miss Demeanour with a Camino Arrow award for their skill in finding and following arrows:

We should also record for posterity that Redbreast and Jamesbondage made a name for themselves this week by forgetting that they had a grandchild in their care when they headed off home from church....

Next run details
When: Sunday 19th November, 5 pm
Where: Leave Pass's Upper Kedron hacienda
Hare: Leave Pass

On, on!