Return of the Brass Monkey

Brass monkeys again this weekend...with a vengeance! So it was good to see a reasonable number of polar explorers take to the snow-bound tracks around Undambi Reserve and stay on for a snag and a song. We can promise the two Hash virgins who joined us that conditions are not normally so arctic.

Here's a selection of gems from the late Frank Carson, as supplied by Eweshggr and read out at the on, on:
- A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.
- I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed four grave diggers walking around with a coffin. Three hours later they were still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!
- My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop. They were 70 pounds! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
- I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance - so I pushed her over.
- Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.
- My neighbour knocked on our door at 2.30 this morning. Can you believe that? 2.30 am! Luckily I was still up playing my bagpipes.
- I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice. At least I presume she was poor - she only had one pound in her purse.
- A wife says to her husband "You're always pushing me round and talking behind my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair."
- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."
- The wife has been missing for a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I've been back to the charity shop to get her clothes back.

And here's my personal favourite:

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you. Today's the day the teddy bears have their picks nicked."

Shockjock and Miss Demeanour were going to be staging the Samford Hash Table Tennis Tournament this coming Sunday. Unfortunately this event has had to be postponed, so we'll be meeting at Chez Shockjock et al instead.  Good news for those who like hills!

And finally - here's a shot which Superhacker had "lost" off her phone, but which she was able to recover by hacking into the old News of the World website. Happy birthday again, Miss Demeanour!

Next run details
When: Sunday 3rd June, 4 pm
Where: Miss Demeanour and Shockjock's Bunya hideaway.  (Email us if you need directions to this run.)
Hares: Miss Demeanour and Shockjock

On, on!

"Kiss me, Hardy"

Leave Pass's sketch at the on, on reminded us of how WHS, EEO, PC and AU (Acronym Usage) have changed the world since Nelson's time. But does Samford Hash need reminding? We always have Eweshggr in our midst as a living relic of the days when men were men and wore the trousers....

I'm not sure about Le W*nk, though. On the one hand, he was swapping recipes with the girls; but on the other, these were recipes for oysters.  And we all know what oysters are good for - Casanova, they say, used to eat 5 or 6 dozen a day!

This week's hares, Jamesbondage and Redbreast, took us on a very enjoyable magical mystery tour of some new territory around Albany Creek.  Their route included bikeways, rights of way, and a very dodgy bit of boardwalk. They then laid on a scrumptious casserole - and fruit cake! Many thanks!

In two week's time Shockjock and Miss Demeanour will be hosting the great Samford Hash Table Tennis Tournament. This will be a wonderful opportunity for them to humiliate the rest of us (again). Don't miss it!

Next run details
When: Sunday 27th May, 4 pm
Where: Undambi Rotary Reserve - corner Mt O'Reilly Road and Greggs Road.
Hares: Culture and Haughty

On, on!

A number of Mothers

were away this weekend - in Europe, the US, Darwin and at secret locations - so it was a very select group of 10 of us who set out to saunter along the banks of the North Pine and tackle the green hills of Dayboro.

The green hills looked great in the late afternoon light, and our hares had set a very scenic route - as well as slashing part of it. This didn't stop Le W*nk whingeing (he gets vertigo on slopes since he moved to Sandgate) or stop some laggardly shortcutters from missing a good slab of the walk....

The annual Mother Superior award was bestowed on Cash Converta, the 2012 Mother of the Year:

The formidable piece of foundationwear looked a little the worse for wear since last year, having lost one of its tassels. There were suggestions that it might have suffered some "rougher than usual handling". Who knows?

Champagne down, downs for the shortcutters:

Mothers and Mother Nature - sunset over the D'Aguilar Range.

Next run details
When: Sunday 20th May, 4 pm

Where: Lemke Park, Frederick St, Albany Creek.  A map!
Hares: Jamesbondage and Redbreast

On, on!

Hard Labour?

Eweshggr - as usual - had really worked hard to lay on a complex, interesting and enjoyable run, featuring backyards, roadsides, eucalypt forest, rainforest, creek crossings, muddy descents and steep climbs.  What a lot of variety as we criss-crossed the area!

The runners lost track of the convoluted check-backs and false trails - which caught them out every time.  You'd think they'd know what to expect by now....

Many thanks to Eweshggr - and to Souffle, who laid on a ribfilling meal!  And welcome to our newest named young 'un - Tweetie-pie!

Here are a few shots from the Labour Day weekend.

A couple of hashers went abseiling on Saturday.  Here's Payback bouncing off the wall as usual:

Happy birthday to Culture at the on, on:

Red-shirted hashers kept the red flag flying and raised the scarlet standard high (our rendition this year was even better than last year's!)  For those who were curious, the song was written by Jim Connell in 1889.

Payback demonstrating that the East is Red:

Leave Pass showed off his Gold Medal (Weightlifting, Queensland Masters) - well done, old chap!

Serious drinkers had a whisky lesson after the on, on:

While their families waited on the pub doorstep:

Labour Day holiday bushwalk - hashers scoffing cake en route to Northbrook Mountain.  It was a lovely day for a walk - all the leeches agreed! 

 Next run details
When: Sunday the lucky 13th May, 4 pm
Where: Banger and Make an Offer's stunning hilltop mansion, Dayboro
Hares: Banger and Make an Offer

(If you need directions to this run please email us,)

On, on!

The two-dog covenant

An interesting observation by the runners: everyone in the development we circled on Sunday has to have two matching (and barking) dogs. Some people don't want them, but those are the rules....

Our first-time and no-name hares kindly kept us on bitumen all the way round - after some heavy rain over the weekend the cross routes were all under water. It was a very pleasant jaunt, followed up by a great spread. Many thanks!

The naming ceremony that followed was carried out with the usual pomp and circumstance. Welcome to Sweet FA and Chunder! We also celebrated Miss Demeanour's birthday - she's 21 yet again....

Here's a little Irish story, courtesy of Eweshggr:

Mick says, "Paddy, you really ought to close the curtains when you're making love to your wife. The neighbours were all standing in the road last night laughing at you."

"Well," says Paddy, "the joke's on them. I wasn't even at home last night!"

Last year we celebrated Labour Day with the first-ever rendition of "The Red Flag" in Samford. This year we'll attempt the same feat at Mt Nebo. Wear something red to go with it - if you remember.

On the Monday public holiday some of us will be walking Northbrook Mountain. Details on Sunday - or email us.

Next run details
When: Sunday 6th May, 4 pm
Where: The Shggr's shack, Mt Nebo
Hare: Eweshggr

(Email us if you need directions to this run)

On, on!